Verbal Self Defense Tactics

Archive for November, 2009

Announcing

The Great Twacebook Verbal Self Defense Book Draw of 2009

We are gearing up for the launch of our new book and we have some advanced copies left up for grabs. What we’d like to do is offer TWO free books for people! How do you enter? There are two ways!

First way to win:

Go on Twitter and Tweet the following phrase:

Stand up to Bullies! Win a book! @verbal_sensei has a contest http://bit.ly/8uu9me RT to Win

Second way to win:

Join the Verbal Self Defense Facebook Group at:

http://www.facebook.com/#/group.php?gid=177970966779

What you can win:

Do this all by 5pm Pacific on Monday, November 30th and be entered to win! Winners will receive (via mail) one signed Advance Copy of the new book:

6 Steps for Verbal Self Defense
to Stop Workplace Bullying

Members of the Facebook group at the end of the Monday will be automatically entered into the draw. Maximum of 5 twitter re-tweet entries per person, per day. Winners will be selected at random.

Good luck!

From John Tierny’s article in the New York Times on office gossip:

“Office gossip can be a form of reputational warfare,” Dr. Hallett says. “It’s like informal gossip, but it’s richer and more elaborate. There are more layers to it because people practice indirectness and avoidance. People are more cautious because they know they can lose not just a friendship but a job.”

Link to the article

A recent article about four Vancouver teens who are facing charges for allegedly retaliating against a bully has been published in papers across the country:

Times Colonist /National Post /Dose.ca /Global /Canada.com /Calgary Herald /The Vancouver Sun

I need to say, it’s my opinion that this is simply one more prime example of the hypocrisy of our justice system. As a verbal self defense instructor, and the author of a recently published book about overcoming workplace bullying, I think someone needs to point out where the real responsibility should be put in this case — our education and legal systems!

The injuries suffered by the bully will heal; however, the mental and emotional suffering the bully inflicted on his victims will have negative effects for decades to come. Yet, it shows just how apathetic we are when we do nothing until someone gets physically injured.

The fact is, a bully knows “the system” and knows exactly how to hurt people in a way that leaves teachers and parents unable and/or unwilling to act. Only when someone is hurt in a way measurable by a physician do we, as a community, give the story attention and step in to file charges. By those standards, the four teens were just inexperienced at bullying — had they left no physical signs then the police, school and parents would have remained indifferent.

The real problem is, an officer, teacher or parent who takes action that can’t be absolutely justified, they’ll face consequences from a review board or, worse, criminal charges. To protect themselves they avoid getting involved when someone says they’re being bullied without any physical proof … people in charge must face the consequences of their actions; but bullies do not.

If the people in authority who should have addressed the problem in the beginning were held responsible for the current circumstance, then it’d have been dealt with when the four teens were first seeking a solution. That would’ve also meant the teens now facing further suffering for Standing Up to a bully could have avoided the extensive mental and emotional injuries that made them think this was their only recourse.

(It’s ironically interesting to note that Friday, November 20^th is International STAND UP to Bullying Day — www.StandUpDay.com)