As a Behavior Modification Coach who specializes in helping people deal with Depression and Anxiety I was truly concerned after reading the CNN news article of October 13th, entitled As economy worsens, so do fears of violent reactions. It talked about an increase in murder/suicides and suicide attempts in response to the current economic crisis, and this has lead to a fear that these kinds of tragedies may continue to grow as economic problems become worse each day.
So in this time of financial worry and emotional turmoil it’s important for people to have some clear strategies for avoiding feelings of overwhelm and hopelessness.
- STEP 1 – RECOGNIZE YOUR SIGNS OF PROBLEM STRESS
Most people would agree there always seems to be some level of stress in life, however, when times get tough(er) that sense of underlying stress can multiple exponentially. The first, and possibly most important thing you can do is Stop — and be aware of how you know things are becoming too much to handle. You may not need help at this point but sometimes things coming at us all at once can be too much for us to mentally deal with all at once – so take note of when you have too many problems to solve at one time.
Some people feel physical signs in their body …shoulder tension, headaches, stomach illness, etc. Other people have trouble sleeping …their mind keeps running, running, running all night long and won’t shut off. Some of us have difficulty focusing on what people say …constantly needing co-workers or family members to repeat themselves. Still others just start seeing things in a different light …colors in the world become faded and washed out as they become over sensitive to light (often causing them to withdraw from life, literally closing ourselves away in a dark room or taking refuge under the bed covers). Take note of how your unconscious mind manages overwhelming stress and begin watching for it. If those feelings or behaviors start to be more in control of you than you are of them …it’s a definite sign you need to do something.
- STEP 2 – TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT IT (A LITTLE AT A TIME)
When things are getting difficult to deal with but you’re still handling it pretty well …that’s good. So this is the time to start dealing with things early – take some time to make a list of people you can talk to …to share just a little bit of what you’re going through. You don’t have to dump all your problems on one person – rather, you can just share a little bit of your problems with each of them. Share a little with one person and then talk a bit more about something else with someone else. If every person we know and meet can help us share the burden of carrying just a small amount of your overwhelming fear and anxiety …well – grandma used to say, “Many hands make light work.” She was right about physical work, as well as the heavy burden of mental and emotional troubles too.
- STEP 3 -GIVE OTHERS THE CHANCE TO HELP
You are a good person – and you know that because you’d be the first one there to help your close friends and family …heck, you’d help people you barely know whenever you’re able to. We know this because shows like, “Extreme Home Makeover” exist, and it shows how often and how powerful it can be when people are there for one another.
Now, remember, “What goes around, comes around.” …and it’s time to let it come around to you so that you can send it around to the next person who needs it once you’re back on your feet. This is where you need to step out of your comfort zone and ask for assistance. No one can read your mind and most of them would benefit from being pulled out of their own constant worrying – so allow others to be good people too and ask for their help (even if it’s just doing little things like housework – each little stress you release can add up and make a difference). All your friends and family want to be there to help you, so they can go home feeling good about themselves knowing that when they need something in the future they can count on you.
- STEP 4 – FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN DO
When you do get help from others be sure to use those times of renewed strength and energy to focus on what you are in control of …and choose to let go of what you can’t. Put your energy toward important things like eating, sleeping, working and taking care of yourself. Recognize those things stressing on you that requires the influence of someone else in order to change it, then put your energy into getting them to want to help you. An example is, you can’t make the bills go away, but you can talk to the people who are in charge of the bills and speak as one human being to another …ask what they can do while you work your way through this difficult time. Occasionally you’ll get an uncaring person, but usually (even if you phone back to the same place the next day) you’ll reach someone who’ll do what they can to assist you.
At that point, stay focused on what you can do and maintain your intention to do it. Work together with the people in charge of things outside your power. Find a way together that will work for both of you – and follow through on it! Remember, this is where you’re relying on the proverb, “What goes around, comes around” and you don’t want anything negative coming back around later.
- STEP 5 – GET KNOWLEDGEABLE GUIDANCE
There are commercials on tv and radio all the time telling us that there are people out there who can help us. The problem I always thought was, “If I could afford their help I wouldn’t need it.” However, they know you need help and if you really want it they can help you find a way to get it. Some professional coaches have “sliding scale fees” where you pay less based on what you’re able to. As well, there are students counselors who have just as useful information as the professional ones and they’re willing to take less just for the opportunity to practice helping someone – so why can’t that someone be you? In some cases, after you’ve shared your concerns about your life’s problems with friends and family, you may have found others dealing with the same kinds of issues as you – so if you all need the same guidance then see if you can go as a group and split the cost.
The main thing to remember is that there are people out there who have useful information which can really help you stay in control mentally and stop your emotions from bullying you. In some cases their help can be just the thing you need to avert the possibility of hurting yourself or your family. To find out more about therapeutic life coaching you can check out the Soaring Success Services section at www.SoaringSuccess.ca.
There are always going to be “good times” and “bad times” (other wise you would never recognize one from the other). How you deal with the “bad times” will influence how soon and how good the “good times” come to be.
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